Ninja Assassin (2009)

I haven't seen a new movie lately in which I have been incredibly impressed with the action, blood, and overall slaughtering of countless fantastic enemies. "Ninja Assassin" has all of these and more! This film centers around a ninja named Raizo (Rain) who was raised in a secret ninja clan called the clan of black sand. It turns out that this clan has been supplying the world's leaders with ninja assassins to carry out their dirty work. Raizo betrayed the clan because he didn't believe that what they were doing was just. After leaving the clan, he made it his passion to destroy the black sand clan or die trying. Along with this turn of events, a Europol researcher named Mika (Naomie Harris) begins to unlock the secrets of the clan of black sand and how they have been involved in many assassinations over the past 1000 years. The all-knowing clan becomes aware of this and sets out to kill Mika in order to keep their secrets. Raizo takes it upon himself to protect Mika in an all-out war against the clan.
This movie was awesome! I haven't seen a movie with this much blood in a long long time. All of the fight scenes use authentic ninja weapons (like Raizo's Kusari-gama and throwing stars) and portray ninjas as being able to blend into the darkness with less than a whisper and climb on walls and control their flesh and bone to the point of possessing the ability to heal themselves. The fight scenes utilized a great stylistic slow motion that puts into perspective all of the insane martial arts moves that Raizo pulls off, which is all visually stunning and impressive (which I would expect from the Wachowski brothers, from The Matrix triology). It's reminiscent of some typical kung-fu movies from the last decade, but is also a throwback to classic "B" movie blood and gore. "Ninja Assassin" gets a 4/5.

Yellow Submarine (1968)

If you enjoy The Beatles, even if it's only in a casual listening atmosphere, "Yellow Submarine" is for you! I'm a big fan of everything The Beatles have done in terms of films and their various dabblings in cinema, even though their films are very low on the quality level. I enjoy because 1) I love The Beatles, they are the best band to have ever lived in my opinion, 2) I enjoy British humor immensely, and 3) The plots are so incredibly terrible that the jokes are brought to the forefront from being completely out of context the majority of the time.
Therefore, I LOVE "Yellow Submarine". The plot centers around an attack on the legendary Pepperland by the blue meanies. The mayor of Pepperland rides in a yellow submarine to find The Beatles to bring them back to Pepperland to save it and it's inhabitants. The movie also fits in the tradition of Beatles movies containing musical interludes that sometimes relate to the plot, but sometimes not. Another awesome and interesting aspect of this movie is that the animation is really really trippy. There are a lot of colors and things flying around and things that don't really make any sense. Most of the scenes of course happen during the musical interludes. I would say that this is the thing that really makes the movie what it is and fits into the Beatles' aesthetic of the time. So if you enjoy the music of The Beatles, and think you can handle dry British humor and trippy animation, check out "Yellow Submarine", which gets a 4/5.

Darkman (1990)

Every single time I see Liam Neeson, I can't stop myself from thinking Qui-Gon Jinn. Neeson plays the starring role of Peyton Westlake in "Darkman" directed by historic "B" movie director Same Raimi (the Evil Dead series). Bruce Campbell even makes a cameo in the last scene of the movie (which made me cheer). "Darkman" is about a scientist (Neeson) who gets tortured and interrogated by a group of mobsters about some incriminating evidence that is never really explained very well in the movie. The group of mobsters end up severely disfiguring Westlake to the point where he is unrecognizable. The rest of the movie is about Westlake exacting his revenge on the mobsters and the man behind the whole plot.
This movie is a classic case of a "B" movie in the terms that the special effects were pretty poor (but pretty sweet!) and because the plot was very poorly put together and much was left unexplained. Altogether this movie was pretty terrible in terms mentioned above, and solely because of the cameo of Bruce Campbell. Most of the movie was also pretty cheesy as well. In spite of the reasons mentioned previously, I award "Darkman" with 3/5 because I have a soft spot in my heart for B movies. I wouldn't recommend checking out though unless you can handle some of Sam Raimi's other movies.

The Family Stone (2005)

Now here's a film that is a great heart-warming holiday movie! I was basically forced into watching this by my roommate, but was pretty amazed by how not terrible it was. This movie is about a family gathering for Christmas and the problems that they experience when one of the sons (Everett, played by Dermot Mulroney) brings home the woman he wants to marry (Meredith, played by Sarah Jessica Parker). Throughout the film everybody seems to discover more about who they are, and who their family members are through a series of slightly hilarious puns (but also some not-so-hilarious ones that really put a damper on things). Different hook up by the end of the movie and everybody is happy!
The only thing that I didn't like about this movie was the fact that it was incredibly, boringly, predictable. It's very easy to plan out the entire movie in your head before anything of significance happens. However, I feel that this was a very appropriate feeling for this movie and that this wasn't significant to the overall meaning of the movie, that being love your family and those close the them. It feels to me as if the director (Thomas Bezucha) was trying to make a movie that cut as close to the heart as possible and show that not all good movies have to have intense plot twists. Overall I enjoyed this movie (and enjoyed Rachel McAdams who is HOT). Take it or leave it, "The Family Stone" gets a 4/5.

Meet the Feebles (1989)

Ever wondered what the muppets would be like in a rated R setting? "Meet the Feebles" is it. Peter Jackson (director) bastardizes the muppets, giving most of them parallels with naughty and disgusting habits. The Feebles is a group of muppets that host a variety hour on TV and the movie follows one day on the set of the show, twelve hours before the show up until the climax. Everything from sex and STD's to foul play and drug deals is showcased in this movie, which produces many disgusting and graphic (for muppets) scenes. However, most of these scenes are incredibly hilarious and laugh-out-loud funny.
"Meet the Feebles" was funny and really intrigued me because it was poking fun at Jim Henson's Muppets. However if you have a weak stomach or have true love of the original muppets, you would most likely not enjoy this movie. But if you can get past all of that I would say check it out just to see something interesting from Peter Jackson (Lord of the Rings). I wonder how he got that gig after making this. "Meet the Feebles" gets a 2/5 for comedy.

Videodrome (1983)

David Cronenberg, the director of the recent films "A History of Violence" and "Eastern Promises" takes the question of what reality is to a new dimension in "Videodrome". This film follows a television producer named Max Renn (James Woods) who specializes in broadcasting softcore porn and like on channel 83 Civic-TV (cable channel 12). Max becomes engrossed in finding the next big television program for Civic-TV that will break through to a new audience. Through a satellite dish that pirates television programs from around the world, Max discovers Videodrome, a plotless show where a victim is tortured and murdered by the end of the program. Max goes about trying to discover the source of Videodrome and descends down a rabbit hole of government conspiracies and S&M, and finally into a state of near insanity and confusion.
Videodrome turns out to be a program by the government that gives its watchers malignant brain tumors and causes them to require severe psychiatric help. Max then discovers that Videodrome is actually a plot by the government to eliminate all of the social lowlifes that are fixated on sex and extreme violence to make the world a better place. Max just happened to be in the middle of the testing phase.
"Videodrome" really kept me guessing the entire time until I really sat down and thought about the significances of different events in the film and how they influenced the characters. This truly is an incredibly screwed up movie and the casual viewer should be warned that there are scenes of a shocking nature that probably shouldn't be viewed by the faint of heart, or those with a weak stomach. However, once you get past the beginning of the movie and really get into the character of Max Renn this film is really quite interesting. It's also a great social commentary on what is happening to North American culture as a result of watching too much television. "Videodrome" gets a 3.5/5

Boy Eats Girl (2005)

Zombie movies are one of my favorite genres of movies. Some may say that zombie movies don't classify as their own genre, however, I respectfully disagree and tell them to go watch Transformers 2. Over the past few years I have seen many different portrayals of zombies, the living dead, and the interact with the remaining living population. "Boy Eats Girl" is a very interesting portrayal of the undead that is very similar in to the film "Zombie Honeymoon".
In "Boy Eats Girl" the main character Nathan is involved with a girl named Jessica who he claims to be in love with. In a strange turn of events, Nathan ends up dying but his mother resurrects him using voodoo magic (the plot is definitely not given as much attention as it probably should have been given). Everything seems fine until Nathan starts craving human flesh and infects one of his fellow classmates with an infectious virus that forces him to eat everybody around him. This causes the virus to spread and take over the town and infect anybody that comes into contact with one of the infected. This of course involves some very gory and gruesome zombie eating scenes with copious amounts of corn syrup and artificial flesh. Nathan takes it upon himself to try and save Jessica from his zombie classmates while his mother finds the cure for the zombie virus in the venom of a snake.
As previously mentioned this movie was incredibly poorly put together in terms of the plot and the plot development. It's pretty much left up to the viewer to find out everything connecting one event to the another, which is fine if you know a lot about zombie movies, like I do. Really the main thing that held my interest in this movie was the incredibly amount of gore and and bodies getting ripped apart. This movie had one of the best multiple zombie scenes I've seen (even better than the helicopter ripping the zombies to pieces in "28 Weeks Later") when Jessica attacks a group of zombies with a tractor and grain harvester which leaves body parts everywhere.
In conclusion, if you're a fan of a good gore-fest zombie flick, check out "Boy Eats Girl" for the gore, and the gore alone. Other than that there aren't many redeeming qualities present. "Boy Eats Girl" gets a 2.5/5.

On Green Dolphin Street (1947)

"On Green Dolphin Street" is a very dark film (especially for 1947) about a love triangle that ends up changing the lives of everybody involved indefinitely and for the most part without remorse or forgiving. The film follows four characters, three of which are involved in the love triangle (William, Marianne, and Marguerite who are sisters). William ends up falling in love with Marguerite but can't be with her because he is involved with the navy and is traveling with a trading vessel called The Green Dolphin. He ends up settling in New Zealand and running a lumber mill with a friend he met, Haslam. One night while in a drunken stupor, he writes a letter to send for his love Marguerite to marry her, but makes a mistake in his intoxicated state and accidentally writes Marianne's name instead of Marguerite's. A long while later he realizes his mistake when Marianne shows up in New Zealand rather than his love, Marguerite. He ends up marrying Marianne even though he doesn't love her and they live "happily" for awhile until a series of plot changing events (an earthquake and a war) force William and Marianne back to England. When they return to England they find that Marianne's and Marguerite's parents have died and without anybody else in the world, Marguerite has taken to the nunnery as a servant of God. Marianne ends up finding out that William had planned to marry Marguerite until he found out that she had become a nun which leads to the revealing of the truth about their relationship. However it all ends up happy in the end and William and Marianne truly fall in love.
The reason why this movie was so dark was because of a few major things. The characters were very easy to become attached to, the worst possible things happen to the characters, and the music was very well composed and suited for the sections in which life/plot changing events happened. The wailing of the string orchestra when Marianne's and Marguerite's parents die is a textbook example of this. It rouses an incredibly emotional disturbance and sorrow for the Marguerite who now has nothing.
The only problem with this movie was that it was really, really long (2 hours and 21 minutes). I felt that it could have been cut down a lot and it seemed to drag on and on forever. Despite that "On Green Dolphin Street" was relatively good movie and I enjoyed it quite a bit. It gets 4/5

Kids (1995)

Shock value is definitely one thing that "Kids" has. From extreme language and subject matter, to incredibly amoral teenagers. It really wakes up the nervous system as well as the moral obligations of the audience through pure shock value and startling of the soul.
"Kids" portrays a day in the lives of several New York Teenagers and the mid-nineties that have no moral bounds, nothing is off limits. The shock value aspect starts off the film with the main character Telly having sex with a thirteen-year-old girl, taking her virginity. This ends up being a reoccurring tragedy of the film with Telly. Along with the plot line following Telly, there is a separate plot line following a girlfriend that he previously had sex with, a girl named Jennie. These plot lines follow their own paths until a secret is revealed that will change the lives of Telly, Jennie, and everybody associated with them.
This movie amazed me with how in-depth both plot lines were and how they fused them together at the end of the film. It was very easy as a viewer to become immersed in the lives of both characters, which was achieved by superb acting by both Telly (Leo Fitzpatrick) and Jennie (Chloe Sevigny). By the end of the movie the emotions running through both of their minds are smacking the viewer square in the face. My roommates definitely had some trouble getting through the first scene and I had to finish it on my own. Overall a very blood curdling movie about what goes wrong when morals are out of the question. Despite the gruesome shock value of "Kids", it receives a 4 out 5.

Magnolia (1999)

"Magnolia" is part of the Paul Thomas Anderson film library which includes "Punch Drunk Love" which I also recently saw, but that's to be discussed later. "Magnolia" follows several plot lines of different characters that are entwined in some subtle way, such as family ties and random occurrences. It also uses an all-star cast showcasing Tom Cruise, Phillip Seymour Hoffman, William H. Macy, and John C. Reilly to name a few. At its root, "Magnolia" is about life and how different and apparently random things are connected. Lying is also a major factor and most of the plot lines are derived from either a lie that was told in the past or a mistake that was made. In the end of the movie, all of the lies and mistakes are confessed to but its so incredibly heart-breaking because you become so involved with the characters and their separate but similar emotions.
There isn't very much that can be said about this film without getting into a whole slew of explanations so I won't really say anything about the plot (except that frogs fall from the sky!). This is a must-see movie which will blow your mind with the excellent acting as well as the incredibly in-depth plot and analysis of people living together and how their lives relate to create a much bigger basis of analytical potential. "Magnolia" receives the coveted 5/5 review. See it!

Zombie Honeymoon (2004)

"Zombie Honeymoon" is an independent film that definitely does not fit the norm for zombie movies, rather it fits a genre that I like to call "romantic zomedy." The film starts off with a cute, newlywed couple on their honeymoon in a house on the beach. Things go wrong when the couple (Danny and Denise) are playing in the surf on the beach and a zombie appears out of the ocean and infects Danny with his seed. He appears to die for ten minutes but returns to life as a normal human being, or so it appears. The gore-fest begins when Denise finds Danny chowing down on their obese neighbor in the bathroom. The film continues with, until the end, with Denise attempting to cope with the love of her life and his new found appetite for human flesh.
I have seen a lot of zombie movies, and "Zombie Honeymoon" definitely presents some new ideas and concepts about what a zombie is. Different zombie movies present the transformation from living to undead differently and "Zombie Honeymoon" uses a very interesting concept in the transformation of Danny into a zombie. Danny starts out by getting sprayed in the face with blood by a zombie hailing from the ocean, which is a pretty standard practice as presented in "28 Days Later." Danny then passes into the next realm and a few short minutes later, reanimates. Now what makes this different from other zombie movies is that when Danny reanimates, he is a completely coherent human being. Then throughout the movie, it shows how his body slowly decays and his hunger for flesh grows into an insatiable desire for blood. In beginning of his transformation he attacks and eats people but he can control himself around Denise and more or less act normal, for the situation he is in.
This film ended up being a pretty interesting movie with a very interesting zombie concept and plot, and special effects and gore comparable to any major zombie movie. It wasn't really what I was expecting and has a very strong emotional aspect to it as you become attached to the couple and their undying love for each other, even given the circumstances. This attachment leads a pretty sad ending, but a necessary sadness. "Zombie Honeymoon" gets a 4/5.

The Black Dragons (1942)

"The Black Dragons" is an excellent representation of the film noir period of the 1940's and is a significantly more in-depth film for the creator, the famous horror genre pioneer Bela Lugosi, as an actor, as well as a director. Bela Lugosi is probably best known for his role as Count Dracula in "Dracula" and for his work with other famous monsters, such as the Wolf Man and Frankensteins Monster.
"The Black Dragons" follows an incredibly deep and involved plot in which he plays a plastic surgeon who transforms six members of the Black Dragon Society in Japan into lookalikes of 6 famous industrialists in America. The Black Dragon Society plans to infiltrate major American industries before the war. However, their plan backfires when they make the mistake of locking up Dr. Melcher (Lugosi) who kills the other occupant of his cell and takes his face for his own (metaphorically of course). So Dr. Melcher goes to America with the face of Monsieur Colomb (his cell mate) in order to extinguish the presence of the Black Dragon Society in America.
Of course none of this makes sense until the end of the movie when the motives and past on Monsieur Colomb are revealed. Throughout the entire movie it appears to the viewer that something strange is definitely at work, but it is unclear who the culprit is or what his or her motives are. "The Black Dragons" gets a 4/5 for being an great old movie.

Attack of the Giant Leeches (1959)

Attack of the Giant Leeches definitely can be classified as a classic horror movie, complete with bad acting and even worse special effects and costume designs. The plot is pretty stereotypical of the time period (1959) and goes from mysterious deaths and disappearances around the vicinity of a swamp in the Everglades. To the dismay of the townspeople, they realize that they have become the captives of giant leeches which seek to suck the lifeblood from every single one of their victims. They end up blowing up the swamp and destroying several giant leeches that float to the surface after the smoke has cleared. But is that really all of them?
I have a soft spot in my heart for these kind of classic old movies, not only because they paved the way for the later classic horror movies that I love, but because I'm sure if I had watched this when in came out in 1959, I would have made a mess in my pants. Nobody wants to encounter regular leeches, let alone giant leeches! Some people don't know how I put up with the terrible acting and the less than par special effects, but really it's all part of the experience. Film directors from this time period didn't have very much to work with in terms of the technology that we take for granted today, and I think that they did an excellent job with what they had at their disposal. For the sake of the general public, Attack of the Giant Leeches gets 2.5/5 solely because I have a feeling that nobody else would enjoy watching it except for me. However, if you are a fan of this period in film, definitely check this one out, along with other "creature" movies, like The Creature From The Black Lagoon.

Salo (1975)

Salo: The 120 days of Sodom, is the most disturbing movie that I have ever seen. Period. Unless you can handle some really disgusting stuff, I would not even consider reading this review. Anyways, lets continue with the crapfest.
Salo depicts a symbolic event in which four wealthy aristocratic men in World War I Italy act out and follow through with the most disgusting sexual pleasures ever conceived by man. There's everything from sodomy, to eating human feces, to scalping. All this is going on while all of the victims are completely naked. I ended up stopping it about thirty minutes in and really thinking about whether I wanted to finish it. I caved and decided that I needed to finish it because I had already started it, and because I had a partner in crime so that I didn't have to watch it alone.
After watching Salo, and doing some research to see what other people were writing about it, I found a parallel between Salo and terrible things that it portrayed, and Dante's "Inferno" and the different levels of hell, which when I think about it, that could be what the director, Pier Paulo Pasolini, was alluding to. It's also apperent that he was drawing parallels between what is portrayed in Salo, and the terrible living conditions for Italians under the facist ruling of Benito Mussolini.
Honestly, I had to dig very, very deep to find anything about the symbolism and meaning of this movie. It was difficult to really get anything from it except that the living conditions were terrible in Italy during the time. The only time that "Salo" is mentioned is in the first five minutes of the film when it is seen on a street sign.
In my opinion this movie should difintely be given serious thought to if it is to be considered watching. This morally shaking film is so incredibly grotesque and disgusting that it really shook me to the core. It gets a 2/5 for ruining my life.

Special (2006)

Special is an emotionally gripping independent film about the adverse effects of a drug-in-testing on the main character, a lonely meter maid named Les. The drug gives Les the impression that he has amazing super powers in which he can read peoples minds telepathically, walk through walls, and levitate. Of course, Les being the comic fan that he is, decides that it's his duty to protect the general population by stopping and preventing crime (he ends up doing a lot of "preventing" a.k.a. tackling people who he sees as suspicious). He finds out later that he has become part of something significantly more in-depth than he ever thought.
This film was definitely one of the better ones I've seen in a while. What I liked most was the transformation in Les from a lonely, nervous guy that doesn't really have that much to live for, to realizing his real superpowers, that being his perseverance and his kindness. I think that's the main moral of the film; that we don't need what most people consider "superpowers" to do good, and I think Les realized this at the end of the film. At the beginning, Les is under the impression that with so many billions of people on the planet, not all of them can be unique or special, which he of course proves false by the end of the movie.
This movie also kept me thinking because it's filmed with situations that sort of neutral about whether Les actually does have superpowers or not. For the majority of the movie you are wondering whether he can actually walk through walls, or whether it's all in his head. Of course this leads to many hilarious instances of Les running full-speed in to concrete walls. Other than the heart-warming factor of this movie, it had a pretty interesting concept and was very well made for most likely being filmed on a very low budget. Special gets the coveted 5 out of 5.

Hard Candy (2005)

Hard Candy. What the %$@!? Hard Candy is on the list of most disturbing movies (found here: http://movies.popcrunch.com/the-15-most-disturbing-movies-ever-made/) and definitely lives up to this honor. I was planning on checking all of these movies out but after watching Hard Candy (which is number 12 on the list) I'm having second thoughts about having my sanity stolen from me by watching these movies.
Hard Candy is a movie depicting what happens when a pedophile attempts to make a victim out of a completely psychotic, fourteen-year-old, pre-pubescent girl. The plot goes through a number of plot advancing events mostly consisting of brilliant dialogue between the predator and the prey. The main character, Hailey (Ellen Paige, in other words, Juno), brings the pedophile to realize his wrongdoings and convinces him to attempt to "set things right".
What I really dug about this movie was the apparent transformation of Ellen Paige within the first 15 minutes of the movie. She starts off as an innocent teenager with an independent outlook on life and air for sarcasm. In other words, pretty much the same character as in the movie Juno. However after going through with her plot to bring Jeff the pedophile to his knees, literally, she transforms into a hardcore, psychotic, tormentor. Her sarcastic attitude remains, however in a sick, demented form. The cinematography is also genius in this film. It uses a very simple idea of changing the background and reflection colors from light tones (while nothing violent is happening), to dark tones when something violent or hostile issues). I was truly disturbed and uncomfortable while watching this movie, but I still give it a 4 out 5 because of the fantastic acting and emotional disturbance.

The Yes Men (2003)

"The Yes Men" is sort of political/societal satire documentary about two guys who con their way into giving lectures about completely ridiculous things while posing as members of the World Trade Organization (WTO). That's pretty much all there is to it, but this leads to a hilarious comedy involving giant penis suits, fecal hamburgers, and a good many white lies for the benefit of the global population.
I really dug this movie, not only because it was poking fun at greedy corporations, but because it wasn't at all like a Michael Moore documentary in the sense that everything is a sad realization of the truth. All of the spoofs were very well thought out and executed flawlessly with and distinct air of sarcasm, but not enough for the lecture audiences to notice and realize that it's a scam. The two Yes Men are truly committed to trying to make the world a better place for the less fortunate, that being those how are living in third world countries who are being abused by unfair trade rules and lack of regulation of large corporations. This one gets a 4/5.

Pi (1998)

Pi is a Darren Aronofsky film dealing with the patterns and connections between math, nature, and discovering the meaning of life. It follows a genius number theorist named Maximilian Cohen (Sean Gullette) who is working to discover a pattern that can predict the stock market. This leads to a set of "random" numbers that his computer spits out, which takes him on a journey of trying to discover what it all means while he is being chased by a group of Hasidic Jews and a major stock broker.

What I like most about this film is it's relation to life and how Cohen relates everything in the world to math. He sees patterns in everything and uses these patterns to unlock more doors until he finds himself too deep to come out. It seems that all (or at least most) of the movies that I enjoy deal at some point with insanity. This film is insane from the get-go. Cohen is paranoid and reclusive but retreats into himself more as he uncovers more and more about the mysteries of the universe.

This film also does a good job of measuring the importance of what Cohen is actually researching. If he finds this one ultimate pattern, it can be used exponentially in an infinite number of ways and applications. For example, predicting the stock market, making religious discoveries, and explaining the meaning of life. Cohen is actually a numerical based existentialist in that aspect. I always get something new and interesting out of this movie whenever I watch it. It gets a 4.5/5.

Thelma And Louise (1991)

As many of you know, "Thelma and Louise" is a Ridley Scott film about two women on the lam from the cops for murder. I haven't seen it so I decided to check it out.

For those of you who haven't seen it, I'll provide you with a quick plot summary. Thelma and Louise start out going on vacation to a cabin to relax and do some fishing. Unfortunately they get into trouble when they stop at a bar. While at the bar Thelma gets a bit tipsy and dances with this man that she barely knows. One thing leads to another and she ends up almost getting raped by him but is saved when Louise comes to the rescue and shoots him. They run and run for the entire movie until they reach the climax with about 15 police cars chasing them around in the desert. They decide that they would rather die by their own will, rather than getting caught or killed by the police. So, they drive off the cliff of the Grand Canyon and supposedly die in a fiery crash.

What I liked about this movie was that it closely examines the changes in both Thelma and Louise throughout the entire film. They both go from being hesitant and sort of down about their lives to doing everything they can to escape from the police. They realize the value of life, but they also realize the value of their friendship they end up realizing that they really don't have anybody except for each other.

It really has a pretty heart warming ending with an engaging plot (that I really didn't do justice to in my summary). "Thelma and Louise" gets a 4/5.

Public Enemies (2009)

I was actually quite amazed with this movie. To the best of my knowledge it was historically accurate, it had some good chase scenes and really delved into the life of the famous bank robber John Dillinger (Johnny Depp). The plot of course follows John Dillinger as he robs banks, caps cops, and escapes from jail, but also as he is chased by the FBI led by Christian Bale’s character. It truly is a fast paced movie with some good classic shootout action. All of the cars (including old Ford Model T’s) and the weaponry (including Tommy Guns and BAR’s) look incredibly authentic as far as I can tell.

Johnny Depp does a pretty fantastic job as John Dillinger, he seems pretty fit to be that awesome gangster who’ll stop at nothing to get the cash and make his escape. However, I can’t say this for the rest of the cast. The person who plays Billie (some chick I’ve never heard of), John’s girlfriend throughout the entire, really doesn’t do a very good job. Many of the scenes that are supposed to be intimate between her and John just sort of come off awkward with her kind of mucking up the screen, though she does have a pretty face.

One thing that really interested me about this movie was the way it was shot. Most of the film was shot with handheld cameras, which you can definitely tell because of the slight jolts from walking and lack of smoothness at some points. Coupled with this, the whole lighting and presence of the entire movie was different from anything I’ve seen before. It seemed like the cinematography was taking an approach of between what would be seen in a documentary and a high budget film. It was strangely interesting and sort of lent a certain air of authenticity to the entire film. It seemed like the camera was right in the action and everything was happening spontaneously.

Overall this was interesting but really only good acting from Bale and Depp. Good action and good authenticity. This one gets a 4/5.

Eraserhead (1977)

"Eraserhead". The title alone sounds disturbing. However, disturbing is only a slightly fitting title for this David Lynch film. "Eraserhead" follows an industrial worker in a post-apocalyptic world named Henry on his downward spiral into the rabbit hole. When I first watched it I didn't really understand much of it, but when I was given the hint that everything is metaphorical, I began to figure most of it out. Unfortunately because of this it is hard to give a plot synopsis and have you understand it without seeing the movie, but I'll do my best. I explain what happens and then below that give the metaphorical and symbolic meanings (as they are kind of spoilers).

aIt turns out that Henry is on vacation from his industrial job. He lives in a small, shabby apartment with a scandalous woman across the hall in a not-so-nice part of town (not that any part of town is nice). So Henry returns to his apartment and is informed by the woman across the hall that Mary called and that he should go over for dinner. Henry goes to Mary's house to have dinner with her family but everything is awkward between them. The dinner goes wrong when Henry tries to cut the artificial chickens that are the main course of their meager meal, and they start twitching and bleeding. After the failed dinner Mary's mother interogates Henry about whether he and Mary had sex. He admits that they did and Mary's mother tells him that they must get married at once becuase she gave birth to a premature mutant baby.

The next scene cuts to after Henry and Mary are married and living in the same apartment with thier mutant bundle of joy. Henry arrives home and checks his mail to find a small box with a worm in it, which he hides from Mary. When they go to bed Mary gets fed up with the baby crying and leaves to sleep at her mother's house.

Henry slowing begins to slide deeper into the rabbit hole. He begins dreaming of strange and troubling things. He dreams that the woman across the hall seduces him and he continuously sees a woman singing in the radiator about how everything will be fine in Heaven. He also dreams that he is decapitated and his head is taken to a factory where it is used to make erasers for pencils, hence the title. One day he sees the woman across the hall being intimate with a stranger and he is noticably surprised and sad. The mutant baby begins laughing at him in a disgusting sort of cackle. This enrages Henry to the point that he kills the child and it's innards splatter all over the room. The film ends with him embracing the woman in the radiator and smiling.

As promised here is a explanation of all of the symbolic and metaphorical occurences:

• At the beginning there is a scene with a man in a planet pulling levers. This represents Henry's brain controlling him to do things. The man shoots a sperm into a puddle of water which symbolizes Mary's vagina.
  
• The worm in the black box symbolizes porn, which he hides from Mary, and near the end of the movie looks at often.
• The woman in the radiator symbolizes suicide. I forgot to mention above that the chord on the side of the radiator had a bunch of sparking wires on the side which inevitably aid in Henry's suicide.
• The woman in the radiator squashes a bunch of sperm as they fall from the ceiling which is like saying that commiting suicide will solve all of your problems.

As I said, it's a very disturbing movie. However, I definitely enjoyed it. It's rare that you come across a film that requires this much thinking to understand, especially in todays market. So if you enjoy a film that will probably make your brain hurt, this is it. It gets a 4/5.

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009)

Wow. That is all I have to say to Michael Bay. He has really done it this time. In a bad way that is. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, probably the worst movie I've seen in a while. Before I do my review I'll give a quick rundown of the quality plot we see in this film of films. We start of with Sam going to college and whatnot and him trying to live a normal life when he discovers a shard of the Allspark in his clothing. What do you know. So the Deceptacons want the shard for a reason that is never really explained, and they chase Sam while the Autobots try to protect him. However, during the battle Optimus is ganged up on by three Deceptacons and killed. This is what gets me though, and I will elaborate later: nobody really sheds a tear for their fallen leader. A little sad music is played but they don't spend much time in his death before moving on with the action.

So blah blah blah the Deceptacons steal another shard of the Allspark that apparently survived as well and they reasurect the Fallen who used to be a Prime like Optimus but betrayed the other primes sort of. More blah blah blah action that doesn't really seem to have much to do with plot advancement and they end up in Egypt. So all of the transformers are fighting and sam dies and then he's reassurected by the other Primes and then Sam reassurects Optimus who owns the rest of the Deceptacons and the Fallen after getting a jetpack. That enough for you? As I said earlier, what got me was that not a tear was shed for Optimus when he died. But when Sam died everybody was crying their eyes out and the whole shabang. So is Sam more important than Optimus? I think not!

Along with this plot that attempts to be terribly in-depth (but ends up just getting confusing and annoying) Michael Bay made a couple of pretty large mistakes that he sort of covers up with all of the action. Number one, when the Deceptacons go down to give life to Magatron, five go down. It is confirmed by a sup that is guarding his likeless corpse. They then sacrifice one of their own to give life to Megatron. However, when they go back up the sub says there are six Deceptacons coming back up. 5-1+1=6? Did Michael Bay graduate from preschool? This is one of those things where you think either every single person in the cast and crew for the film missed or somebody caught and Mr. Bay just didn't care enough to change it. I guess when you have enough aciton and explosions you can get away with anything....

Number 2, I heard the Shia Labeuf hurt is wrist or something either during the shooting of the movie or before it or sometime around there, so he was wearing a big cast/bandage around his wrist for some of the movie. Now let me straighten this out; he was wearing it off and on throughout the film. He didn't just have it for now reason at a certain point and wear it the rest of the time. Another thing that Michael Bay must have missed. There wasn't even an explanation in the movie that shed light on why he was wearing it. Like, maybe he hit by a piece of rouge shrapnel from an exploding transformer. Nope, nothing.
Throughout this movie I also took some notes:

• Witty/comedic phrases from: Robots 10 Humans: 9
• Plot Progressing Events (events significant to the plot): 4
• Boobs/Butt shots of Megan Fox: only 6 :(
• Kisses: 5
• Minutes of Action (only counting time when stuff is really going down: for instance people are running or guns are firing): 1 hour 2 minutes and 32 seconds out of a 2 hour 19 minute and 46 second movie.
• Explosions: 227. Yes 227. I counted.

As my results show above, this is an incredibly unbalanced movie. Action sequences and explosions occupied the majority of the movie without much thought put into progressing the plot. When the plot was progressed it was confusing and there was often a lot of skipping around and it was difficult to follow. I was surprised that they didn't have explosions going off in the background of the credits. The movie pretty much goes non-stop for the entire time with a cut to a plot progressing event every now and then that doesn't really seem to fit. It was also very difficult to tell who you were watching. Most of the transformers look basically the same and since they are always moving you never really get a good look at them to see which one it is. And why are there even humans with guns and tanks in this movie? They really don't do anything when they are fighting GIANT ROBOTS FROM ANOTHER PLANET! The Autobots pretty much do all of the work when it comes to fighting and the humans just get killed. I'm also not sure how many there actually were. Like in the last movie there was pretty much a set squad of the transformers for each team but I'm pretty sure there were like 50 robots beating the crap out of eachother and I couldn't tell what team they were on.

There were so many things wrong with this movie it is impossible to name them all. See this if you want to be motivated to stay away from Michael Bay movies from now on. I'll give it a 2/5 and thats only because the action sequences (the majority of the movie) were pretty well put together, but everything else set me off. Michael Bay, please burn in Hell.

Mad Max (1979)

Mad Max, starring a very very young Mel Gibson, is a slightly anticlimactic film following the main character Max, a highway patrolman with a slightly crazy need to for speed and carnage. The first 15 minutes of this movie are actually pretty high energy with some pretty excellent car chases. However, after the beginning the movie slowly goes downhill. The plot continues after Max kills the leader of a biker gang in the action packed first fifteen minutes and follows him while he is being chased by the rest of the gang out for revenge. Like most movies of this caliber, I expected an action packed ending with a lot of explosions and a high death count. However, the end seemed very anticlimactic to me. I pretty proceeds to take out the rest of the gang in his car while they are on motorcycles and it just isn't a very well done action sequence. The entire plot builds up to the end but when the end is reached, it sucks. Max's wife in the movie (Joanne Samuel?) does some pretty terrible acting. There isn't very much plot development, and for an action movie, the action was disappointing. If I were you I wouldn't check this one out unless you're a big Mel Gibson fan because actually does a mediocre job. This one gets a 2.5/5.

Run Lola, Run (1998)

"Run Lola, Run" (or Lola Rennt in German) is a German film about, of course, a girl named Lola running....Now that we have that established. Lola has only twenty minutes to get $100,000 or her boyfriend, Manny, will be killed by a mob style gang in Germany. It actually uses a pretty genius method to come to the conclusion. Rather than just running down the plot, the movie is sort of divided up into three segments. Each segment is separated by an interlude which consists of an in depth conversation between Lola and Manny about something associated with their relationship.
The first two segments also end with with either Manny or Lola Dying. So how can we have a movie where the main characters die? Well we don't. The film recounts Lola's attempts to save Manny in three different ways. The first time she fails and she dies. However, while her body is falling towards the pavement with a bullet lodged in her chest she cries "STOP!" The film then starts back to where she begins her attempt to save Manny. Unfortunately, Manny dies the second time. Third times the charm and, without revealing too much of the plot, things manage to work themselves out with an action filled last twenty minutes that will keep you on the edge of your seat. What makes the movie more enjoyable is the subtle differences in Lola's behavior that leads one to believe that she has learned from her mistakes in her last attempt and learns from them. Another movie with subtitles which I didn't mind. There's so much packed into this film that it's difficult to explain it completely in a blog post, but it's definitely one to check out. This one gets 5/5.

El Mariachi (1992)

For my very first review that I post, we have "El Mariachi". "El Mariachi" is a very early independent film by the now significantly more recognized Robert Rodriguez ("Planet Terror" anyone?). In my research for this film I discovered that it had such a small budget that most of the guns used were squirt guns made to look like the real thing and most of the sounds and dialogue was recorded using a handheld voice recorder.
Lets get into it. "El Mariachi", despite it's low budget and in some cases poor production quality, is in fact a great film in my opinion. It follows a man who goes solely by Mariachi who is trying to make his way as a mariachi guitar/singer in Mexico, only to find that he has been replaced by technology and lack of funds to pay him. Our hero Mariachi gets mixed up in a fire fight and is mistaken for a vigilante who is trying the get at the antagonist for a sum of money owed to him. He continues to get drawn up in a fight that is not his own until a slightly depressing but forward looking climax. Overall, great acting with an intriguing plot. Spanish subtitles for those of you who can't read...I would check this one out and it receives a 4/5.

Hello and Welcome!

Welcome to my new blog focusing on film reviews. My name is Jory Tindall and using this blog I will be posting what I think of as many different films as I can. I enjoy a broad range of movies including a lot of old and independent films, but also some of recent ones. Since I've just started this I will write up some reviews for good and bad movies that I've watched recently to get started. If you have any recommendations for what movies I should check out let me know and I'll get on it. Enjoy!

-Jory