Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009)

Wow. That is all I have to say to Michael Bay. He has really done it this time. In a bad way that is. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, probably the worst movie I've seen in a while. Before I do my review I'll give a quick rundown of the quality plot we see in this film of films. We start of with Sam going to college and whatnot and him trying to live a normal life when he discovers a shard of the Allspark in his clothing. What do you know. So the Deceptacons want the shard for a reason that is never really explained, and they chase Sam while the Autobots try to protect him. However, during the battle Optimus is ganged up on by three Deceptacons and killed. This is what gets me though, and I will elaborate later: nobody really sheds a tear for their fallen leader. A little sad music is played but they don't spend much time in his death before moving on with the action.

So blah blah blah the Deceptacons steal another shard of the Allspark that apparently survived as well and they reasurect the Fallen who used to be a Prime like Optimus but betrayed the other primes sort of. More blah blah blah action that doesn't really seem to have much to do with plot advancement and they end up in Egypt. So all of the transformers are fighting and sam dies and then he's reassurected by the other Primes and then Sam reassurects Optimus who owns the rest of the Deceptacons and the Fallen after getting a jetpack. That enough for you? As I said earlier, what got me was that not a tear was shed for Optimus when he died. But when Sam died everybody was crying their eyes out and the whole shabang. So is Sam more important than Optimus? I think not!

Along with this plot that attempts to be terribly in-depth (but ends up just getting confusing and annoying) Michael Bay made a couple of pretty large mistakes that he sort of covers up with all of the action. Number one, when the Deceptacons go down to give life to Magatron, five go down. It is confirmed by a sup that is guarding his likeless corpse. They then sacrifice one of their own to give life to Megatron. However, when they go back up the sub says there are six Deceptacons coming back up. 5-1+1=6? Did Michael Bay graduate from preschool? This is one of those things where you think either every single person in the cast and crew for the film missed or somebody caught and Mr. Bay just didn't care enough to change it. I guess when you have enough aciton and explosions you can get away with anything....

Number 2, I heard the Shia Labeuf hurt is wrist or something either during the shooting of the movie or before it or sometime around there, so he was wearing a big cast/bandage around his wrist for some of the movie. Now let me straighten this out; he was wearing it off and on throughout the film. He didn't just have it for now reason at a certain point and wear it the rest of the time. Another thing that Michael Bay must have missed. There wasn't even an explanation in the movie that shed light on why he was wearing it. Like, maybe he hit by a piece of rouge shrapnel from an exploding transformer. Nope, nothing.
Throughout this movie I also took some notes:

• Witty/comedic phrases from: Robots 10 Humans: 9
• Plot Progressing Events (events significant to the plot): 4
• Boobs/Butt shots of Megan Fox: only 6 :(
• Kisses: 5
• Minutes of Action (only counting time when stuff is really going down: for instance people are running or guns are firing): 1 hour 2 minutes and 32 seconds out of a 2 hour 19 minute and 46 second movie.
• Explosions: 227. Yes 227. I counted.

As my results show above, this is an incredibly unbalanced movie. Action sequences and explosions occupied the majority of the movie without much thought put into progressing the plot. When the plot was progressed it was confusing and there was often a lot of skipping around and it was difficult to follow. I was surprised that they didn't have explosions going off in the background of the credits. The movie pretty much goes non-stop for the entire time with a cut to a plot progressing event every now and then that doesn't really seem to fit. It was also very difficult to tell who you were watching. Most of the transformers look basically the same and since they are always moving you never really get a good look at them to see which one it is. And why are there even humans with guns and tanks in this movie? They really don't do anything when they are fighting GIANT ROBOTS FROM ANOTHER PLANET! The Autobots pretty much do all of the work when it comes to fighting and the humans just get killed. I'm also not sure how many there actually were. Like in the last movie there was pretty much a set squad of the transformers for each team but I'm pretty sure there were like 50 robots beating the crap out of eachother and I couldn't tell what team they were on.

There were so many things wrong with this movie it is impossible to name them all. See this if you want to be motivated to stay away from Michael Bay movies from now on. I'll give it a 2/5 and thats only because the action sequences (the majority of the movie) were pretty well put together, but everything else set me off. Michael Bay, please burn in Hell.