Ninja Assassin (2009)

I haven't seen a new movie lately in which I have been incredibly impressed with the action, blood, and overall slaughtering of countless fantastic enemies. "Ninja Assassin" has all of these and more! This film centers around a ninja named Raizo (Rain) who was raised in a secret ninja clan called the clan of black sand. It turns out that this clan has been supplying the world's leaders with ninja assassins to carry out their dirty work. Raizo betrayed the clan because he didn't believe that what they were doing was just. After leaving the clan, he made it his passion to destroy the black sand clan or die trying. Along with this turn of events, a Europol researcher named Mika (Naomie Harris) begins to unlock the secrets of the clan of black sand and how they have been involved in many assassinations over the past 1000 years. The all-knowing clan becomes aware of this and sets out to kill Mika in order to keep their secrets. Raizo takes it upon himself to protect Mika in an all-out war against the clan.
This movie was awesome! I haven't seen a movie with this much blood in a long long time. All of the fight scenes use authentic ninja weapons (like Raizo's Kusari-gama and throwing stars) and portray ninjas as being able to blend into the darkness with less than a whisper and climb on walls and control their flesh and bone to the point of possessing the ability to heal themselves. The fight scenes utilized a great stylistic slow motion that puts into perspective all of the insane martial arts moves that Raizo pulls off, which is all visually stunning and impressive (which I would expect from the Wachowski brothers, from The Matrix triology). It's reminiscent of some typical kung-fu movies from the last decade, but is also a throwback to classic "B" movie blood and gore. "Ninja Assassin" gets a 4/5.

Yellow Submarine (1968)

If you enjoy The Beatles, even if it's only in a casual listening atmosphere, "Yellow Submarine" is for you! I'm a big fan of everything The Beatles have done in terms of films and their various dabblings in cinema, even though their films are very low on the quality level. I enjoy because 1) I love The Beatles, they are the best band to have ever lived in my opinion, 2) I enjoy British humor immensely, and 3) The plots are so incredibly terrible that the jokes are brought to the forefront from being completely out of context the majority of the time.
Therefore, I LOVE "Yellow Submarine". The plot centers around an attack on the legendary Pepperland by the blue meanies. The mayor of Pepperland rides in a yellow submarine to find The Beatles to bring them back to Pepperland to save it and it's inhabitants. The movie also fits in the tradition of Beatles movies containing musical interludes that sometimes relate to the plot, but sometimes not. Another awesome and interesting aspect of this movie is that the animation is really really trippy. There are a lot of colors and things flying around and things that don't really make any sense. Most of the scenes of course happen during the musical interludes. I would say that this is the thing that really makes the movie what it is and fits into the Beatles' aesthetic of the time. So if you enjoy the music of The Beatles, and think you can handle dry British humor and trippy animation, check out "Yellow Submarine", which gets a 4/5.

Darkman (1990)

Every single time I see Liam Neeson, I can't stop myself from thinking Qui-Gon Jinn. Neeson plays the starring role of Peyton Westlake in "Darkman" directed by historic "B" movie director Same Raimi (the Evil Dead series). Bruce Campbell even makes a cameo in the last scene of the movie (which made me cheer). "Darkman" is about a scientist (Neeson) who gets tortured and interrogated by a group of mobsters about some incriminating evidence that is never really explained very well in the movie. The group of mobsters end up severely disfiguring Westlake to the point where he is unrecognizable. The rest of the movie is about Westlake exacting his revenge on the mobsters and the man behind the whole plot.
This movie is a classic case of a "B" movie in the terms that the special effects were pretty poor (but pretty sweet!) and because the plot was very poorly put together and much was left unexplained. Altogether this movie was pretty terrible in terms mentioned above, and solely because of the cameo of Bruce Campbell. Most of the movie was also pretty cheesy as well. In spite of the reasons mentioned previously, I award "Darkman" with 3/5 because I have a soft spot in my heart for B movies. I wouldn't recommend checking out though unless you can handle some of Sam Raimi's other movies.

The Family Stone (2005)

Now here's a film that is a great heart-warming holiday movie! I was basically forced into watching this by my roommate, but was pretty amazed by how not terrible it was. This movie is about a family gathering for Christmas and the problems that they experience when one of the sons (Everett, played by Dermot Mulroney) brings home the woman he wants to marry (Meredith, played by Sarah Jessica Parker). Throughout the film everybody seems to discover more about who they are, and who their family members are through a series of slightly hilarious puns (but also some not-so-hilarious ones that really put a damper on things). Different hook up by the end of the movie and everybody is happy!
The only thing that I didn't like about this movie was the fact that it was incredibly, boringly, predictable. It's very easy to plan out the entire movie in your head before anything of significance happens. However, I feel that this was a very appropriate feeling for this movie and that this wasn't significant to the overall meaning of the movie, that being love your family and those close the them. It feels to me as if the director (Thomas Bezucha) was trying to make a movie that cut as close to the heart as possible and show that not all good movies have to have intense plot twists. Overall I enjoyed this movie (and enjoyed Rachel McAdams who is HOT). Take it or leave it, "The Family Stone" gets a 4/5.

Meet the Feebles (1989)

Ever wondered what the muppets would be like in a rated R setting? "Meet the Feebles" is it. Peter Jackson (director) bastardizes the muppets, giving most of them parallels with naughty and disgusting habits. The Feebles is a group of muppets that host a variety hour on TV and the movie follows one day on the set of the show, twelve hours before the show up until the climax. Everything from sex and STD's to foul play and drug deals is showcased in this movie, which produces many disgusting and graphic (for muppets) scenes. However, most of these scenes are incredibly hilarious and laugh-out-loud funny.
"Meet the Feebles" was funny and really intrigued me because it was poking fun at Jim Henson's Muppets. However if you have a weak stomach or have true love of the original muppets, you would most likely not enjoy this movie. But if you can get past all of that I would say check it out just to see something interesting from Peter Jackson (Lord of the Rings). I wonder how he got that gig after making this. "Meet the Feebles" gets a 2/5 for comedy.