Inception (2010)

I saw "Inception" so you don't have to!  Just kidding, "Inception" was actually a pretty great movie!  I'm not a super big fan of Leonardo di Caprio.  I mostly have trouble getting past his voice (he sounds like a bitchy twelve year old).  But other than that "Inception" had a pretty all-star lineup, including Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Ellen Paige, and Ken Watanabe.  All of the actors were basically perfect except for di Caprio, because he's a bitchy twelve year old.

I can't really tell too much of the plot because it would give up too much of the plot, but I do have one complaint; that being that some of the details and events (including the past of the characters and how they came to be) was a little vague at times.  It really wasn't until the very end of the movie that I noticed how everything fit together and the importance/significance of all of the characters.  However, it was shot very well and had a lot of interesting ideas, however, a lot of the ideas presented in "Inception" are not entirely original.  The two movies that stood out to me as being similar along some lines were "The Matrix" and "Vanilla Sky".  Without giving away anything, lets just say that each of these movies are similar to "Inception" in the way that the character's minds/thoughts/dreams are manipulated.

Anyways, I thoroughly enjoyed "Inception" and highly recommend seeing, maybe more than once!  "Inception" gets a 4.5, not a 5, for the sole reason that Leonardo di Caprio's voice sucked...and because I don't like his acting style....and because he's a teenage heartthrob and I'm not.... :(

Knowing (2009)

Other than the fact that I hate Nicholas Cage, "Knowing" was a pretty O.K. movie...until the end.  It seems like I've stumbled upon a few movies lately that sort of have a "hidden" (and when I say hidden I mean completely blatant...) religious message.  I recently watched "The Book of Eli" which is the other movie I'm referring to.

I'll just go ahead and ruin it for you since I would hope that after reading this review, you wouldn't see it.  "Knowing" is pretty much a round about way of telling the story of the great flood and cleansing of the Earth and Noah's ark in modern times when everything on Earth is wiped out by a massive solar flair except for a few young children that are saved by what I deemed to represent angels to repopulate and restore civilization.  Pretty standard premise of a pre-apocalyptic world with a ton of foreshadowing but overall very predictable.  All of this was then ruined by Nicholas Cage.

Here is what I see wrong with Cage.  It seems like every single movie he's in, he plays the same lame character; that being the out of luck husband who is a genius on some large topic that is the key to saving the world (even though he doesn't save the world in "Knowing").  Cage's character basically bosses everybody around on his quest to discover the truth behind a lot of strange happenings centered around him and his son.  Of course every character submits to his will and follows him around like chickens with their dicks cut off.  Not to mention he is a terrible actor with absolutely no emotion change (it's all "I'm awesome and here to save the world! Out of my way!")

The only credit that I will give this movie is that it has the guts to completely destroy civilization rather than writing a script in with Nick Cage uses his super-god powers to resurrect the entire human race and survive a massive solar flair.  "Knowing" gets a 2/5 for decent beginning, with a bad everything else.  Go team!

The Book of Eli (2010)

I'm sure everybody in the world is a fan of Denzel Washington.  How could you not be?  "The Book of Eli" is Washington's latest blockbuster and it follows a man named Eli in his journey (guided by some kind of omnipresent entity....) to deliver the words of the Holy Bible to a group of people who are trying to rebuild society after it has been extinguished by war and natural disaster.  He comes in contact with a man who wants the "book" for the sole purpose of using it's power of persuasion and faith to increase his own wealth and livelihood by exercising control over whomever will follow him.  It takes place a seemingly post-apocalyptic world in which the Earth has been scorched by the sun and few humans remain, and even fewer alternative forms of life.  There is no law and order, there is only the struggle for survival.

I would have enjoyed this movie immensely if it hadn't been based on religion.  The movie portrayed my exact thoughts in a line by the antagonist, Carnagie (Gary Oldman), even though it appears to be a glorification of Western religion.  Carnagie states that he needs the book to exhibit it's power over the weak-minded people of the world so that he can control them and increase his own estate.  Now, I'm not going to get into a religious discussion about what is right and what isn't (in my mind, do whatever you want as long as it doesn't influence me and my decisions), but for a movie trying to explain why religion is seemingly good, why would you point out the fundamental flaw in it (that being that people blindly follow religion without giving serious thought to the implications it's having on their lives and the lives of others)?  Not only that but isn't it setting a bad example if the new prophet of God (Washington) brutally slaughters anybody who gets in his way in supreme displays of bad-assery?  It's like the crusades all over again!  That will be where my religious rant will end.

Other than the lame connections to the King James Bible, this movie had several great things going for it.  The acting was all great, except for the part that Mila Kunis plays (Solara).  Washington and Oldman were both great.  The cinematography and the general vibe of the movie was also very interesting.  What was most likely used was mostly shots of people surrounded by green screen with CGI sets erected all around them.  This gives the movie a very surreal and lonely feeling and does a great job of displaying the despair and fright of the remaining human race.  There were also some really awesome fight scenes, very much in the style of Zach Snyder (Sin City, 300) that showed a great display of the entire fight from a panoramic type view, rather than a first person view.  Because of the religious aspect, "The Book of Eli" only gets a 3.5/5.  Screw you Denzel Washington for making a movie that had so much potential to be completely righteous (not in the religious sense) and gory.

Oldboy (2003)

Anyone interested in effed up movies from South Korea? I certainly am now! "Oldboy" is of course a film made by a South Korean film company following a man named Oh Dae Su. For some reason Oh Dae Su is imprisoned in a strange room without any human interaction and basically nothing to live for. After 15 years Oh Dae Su is released for no extractable reason on the rooftop of the building he was trapped in. He meets a young woman named Mi-do and begins to hunt down the man who locked him up. He begins uncovering things from his past and from his schooling years and eventually uncovers the story in it's shocking entirety with an ending that is impossible to predict.

I really liked this movie for two reasons. 1) The way that foreign films (and especially films from Asian countries) are produced and strung together is drastically different from the way American films are made, and it's a style that I really enjoy. 2) The ending, even though horrifying and disturbing, was phenomenal in the way is expressed to the viewer as well as how it was filmed (the overall cinematography in this movie is pretty great). The soundtrack was also very enjoyable featuring excerpts from Vivaldi's "Four Seasons", specifically "Winter". Another aspect that made this film appealing was the presence of several AWESOME fight scenes in the middle of the movie where Oh Dae Su does some major ass-kicking. These scenes were also very special because they were filmed in a way that allowed the viewer to see every single detail going on in the fight, and around the fight which is unique because most fight scenes are focused mainly on first-person point of view and consist of lot of camera shaking and blurred images. The "Oldboy" fight scenes are incredibly reminiscent of Bruce Lee Kung-fu films and that general genre. In other words, the fight scenes were very well choreographed but they didn't seem so to the viewer. In conclusion, if you can stand English overdubs (which were hardly noticeable) and you want to get your moral sense screwed with a little bit, check out "Oldboy" which gets a 4/5.

Uncle Sam: I Want You...Dead! (1997)

"Uncle Sam" is a fairly unknown B movie that I recently discovered by accident and decided to check out. This is a film about a soldier named Sam Harper who is killed in Kuwait by friendly fire that comes back to life to eliminate all of the non-patriotic Americans...sounds great to me! The film is centered around a boy who is the nephew of Sam Harper (hence, Uncle Sam) who idolizes his uncle to the point of doing anything for him and wants to grow up to be exactly like him. Sam is shipped back to his home town after his body is found and before his family can bury him, he rises to show America's true colors. Sam utilizes an Uncle Sam costume to do his dirty work which allows him to blend in as it happens to be the 4th of July. What more could you want in a quality film like this one?

I wasn't really sure what to expect other than that the acting was going to be somewhere between mediocre and terrible, and that the special effects were going to be much less than adequate. In the end I was half correct in terms of the acting, which was pretty terrible from just about every member of the cast. The special effects on the other hand, were pretty great for this being a B movie. There was a really great fire scene at the end where Sam is shot by a canon and catches fire and is then catapulted into a house which explodes! It was a very well choreographed scene that was pulled off pretty flawlessly. I think the plot was supposed to be semi-funny but the amount of political undertones add a nice spark of humor and political hilarity to the film. All in all, "Uncle Sam is a terribly entertaining B movie , but what more can you expect (and what more do i love!) from a movie titled as this? I enjoyed it, but it you're not a fan of this genre, then you might find many more things wrong with it then I did. "Uncle Sam" gets a 2 out of 5 for generally poor acting (but that's what makes it entertaining!)

2012 (2009)

This film is a must see! It's an exhilarating thrill ride through the destruction of the planet and the extinction of humanity that only be prevented by one man...John Cusack! Ever wondered where we went between "High Fidelity" and now? Well he's making great movies like "2012", the top blockbuster/must-see of the year!

I wish I could say all of these things about "2012". It certainly had the potential to be a fantastic film and to capture audience in a way that could change their lifestyles for the better and make them better people. Why don't we first talk about what was good about this movie:

The concept.

And now what was not good about this movie:

The first thing I will address is how over-the-top and completely ridiculous almost every single action scene. Those of you who know me and my movie preference (B movies and anything awesomely bad) then you know that I generally love completely over-the-top and ridiculous movies. However, this was to the point where it was annoying and down right terrible. What made it even worse was that this movie was a major blockbuster and people actually liked it and the film obviously had a huge budget to utilize tons of CGI techniques.

In correspondence with the annoying action scenes, almost every single scene was made using computer generated images, which is fine but it was incredibly apparent that the majority of the film was made of them. I was waiting for some sweet "Twister" effects with real props and things like that, but movies just don't use those anymore which makes a sad boy :(.

The script for this movie was also terrible, and was made even worse by poor acting. All of the emotional scenes (when things weren't getting blown up) were incredibly fake without a shred of realism. I was expecting more from you John Cusack!!! Has America really gotten to the point where all we want to watch in a film is stuff blowing up and people falling out of buildings into crevasses in the earth while a limo driven by an writer (Cusack) executes daring feats of madness (driving through buildings while they are sinking into the Earth and being chased by the collapse of the road into an abyss down to the core of the Earth) while everything is strung together by a loose plot that takes second place to meteors of lava striking the ground around the same writer as he drives an old burnt-out RV down a mountain trail at breakneck speeds while Yellowstone explodes in a cloud of fiery ash and death?!?! This is poor film-making at it's finest. "2012" gets 1 out of 5. Worse than "Transformers 2". By far.

Bubba Ho-tep (2002)

Many of my friends know that one of my favorite movie genres is the "B" movie genre (in other words poorly made movies that nobody else wants to watch). Probably the most famous "B" movie actor is a man by the name of Bruce Campbell who is most well known for playing the role of Ash in the Evil Dead series directed by Sam Raimi (who has "Evil Dead 4" in the works right now btw). "B" movies are known for their over-the-top special effects and notably terrible acting.

"Bubba Ho-tep" is one of Bruce Campbell's most recent films and stars him in the role of Sebastian Haff. However the true character of Sebastian Haff is Elvis...yes the King himself. The story behind that is that Elvis wanted to go under the radar so he faked his death and took the place of a man named Sebastian Haff. Here's the kicker; Sebastian Haff is an Elvis impersonator. So Bruce Campbell plays Elvis who is impersonating Sebastian Haff who is impersonating Elvis.

The story is based around Elvis who is now old and lives in a care facility with a man who thinks he's JFK. The problem is that the care facility where both of them live is under attack by an Egyptian mummy who is eating the souls of the care home tenants. It's up to Elvis and JFK to stop the mummy and bring peace to the care home.

This film is actually a very well put together film compared to every other "B" movie I've ever seen. The film quality is very high and everything looks really great comparatively. The acting is a bit cheesy but for this film I think it's pretty appropriate. There weren't any super cheesy special effects which definitely sets this apart from most other Bruce Campbell (for instance "Terminal Invasion"). I think this film turned out as good as it did because Bruce Campbell has embraced the fact that "B" movies are generally thought of as terrible films with no value whatsoever. Because he has embraced the fact that "B" movies are cheesy, his films sort of have a right to be cheesy and I think it's appropriate for the context. This may start bringing these movies that I have such a passion for to a more widespread audience. Bruce Campbell fans definitely check this out. "Bubba Ho-tep" gets a 3.5 out of 5.